{"id":1804,"date":"2019-05-16T13:20:04","date_gmt":"2019-05-16T11:20:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dazzlepop.net\/site\/?p=1804"},"modified":"2019-05-16T13:20:08","modified_gmt":"2019-05-16T11:20:08","slug":"is-your-to-do-list-making-you-nuts-start-a-to-dont-list-instead-with-inspiration-from-author-adam-grant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dazzlepop.net\/site\/is-your-to-do-list-making-you-nuts-start-a-to-dont-list-instead-with-inspiration-from-author-adam-grant\/","title":{"rendered":"Is your to-do list making you nuts? Start a to-don\u2019t list instead \u2014 with inspiration from author Adam Grant"},"content":{"rendered":"
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The TED speaker and podcast host shares 4 items from his to-don\u2019t list \u2014 stuff he\u2019s shed from his life to make him a happier and more effective human. Read it and learn.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

To-do lists are the human equivalent of a hamster wheel.<\/strong> While they drive productivity and keep us on track, they just never seem to stop. Even as we cross items off, our lists just keep repopulating with more to-dos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s an idea, little hamster: Take a moment to think of a few things you could cross off your list \u2014 forever. Shed the responsibilities, habits and hobbies that use up your time in ways you don\u2019t love. Call it your \u201cto-don\u2019t\u201d list.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Adam Grant<\/a> has a to-do list a mile or two long; he\u2019s a professor at the Wharton School of Business and the bestselling author of books like Originals<\/em><\/a> and Option B<\/em><\/a> (which he cowrote with Sheryl Sandberg). He also hosts the TED podcast WorkLife with Adam Grant<\/a>, which is about the science of making work not suck.And<\/em> he and his wife have three young kids. So we asked him: What are the things you\u2019ve stopped doing, to make room for what you love?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are four items on Grant\u2019s to-don\u2019t list, along with one new to-do.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Helping everyone who asks<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Grant has made being a giver an important part of his career and research. But after releasing the 2013 book Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success<\/em><\/a>, he was deluged with requests for assistance from strangers. \u201cNote to self,\u201d he says, \u201cdon\u2019t tell the New York Times <\/em>that you enjoy helping people randomly. Oops! And don\u2019t have them make that the centerpiece of the cover story on your work<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At first, Grant did what he\u2019s always done. He took alot of calls and meetings and had many long email exchanges. Eventually, though, he realized he didn\u2019t have time to answer them all, and people\u2019s queries were straying from his areas of expertise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grant came up with a list of the ways that he can make a \u201cunique contribution.\u201d Now, when he gets a request, it needs to be on the list. If it isn\u2019t, he declines with a \u201cSorry, but this is not in my wheelhouse.\u201d One example of a unique contribution: directing people \u2014 who are usually looking for sources for their books, articles or presentations \u2014 to relevant work or psychology studies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He says, \u201cI spend so many hours reading esoteric journal articles, and it just makes my day when I think of an obscure study that actually fulfills someone\u2019s request.\u201d For Grant, that is the most fun way to assist a stranger. \u201cIt\u2019s satisfying when there\u2019s a thing you know more about than almost anyone, and somebody needs that exact thing,\u201d he says. \u201cThere\u2019s also a Sherlock Holmes aspect to it \u2014 can I be faster than Google? Am I a more targeted search engine than Google on this particular topic?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Other unique contributions he likes to make: giving advice on writing and\/or launching a nonfiction book; recommending books and articles to read in the realms of leadership, human behavior, and psychology and work; directing people to speakers in his fields who can talk about a specific topic; and providing feedback on how to communicate ideas in a more engaging way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Mindlessly engaging with screens<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Grant avoids getting on his phone or computer unless he has a specific plan for what he\u2019s going to do with them. This is a longstanding item on his to-don\u2019t list that stretches back to high school when he decided he wouldn\u2019t turn on the TV unless he knew what he would watch. Now he does the same thing with social media. While he posts daily on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, he logs in just to post. One device danger zone for him is the middle of the night, when he sometimes wakes up with the temptation to check email or social media. This used to happen a few times a month until he resolved to stop succumbing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Putting work ahead of family time<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Besides Grant\u2019s professorial responsibilities at Wharton \u2014 he teaches three sections of the MBA core curriculum, plus an undergrad elective \u2014 his schedule is his own. But, he admits, \u201cI have a very difficult time disengaging from a task until it\u2019s done. One of the things I\u2019ve been frustrated by and regretted are days when I\u2019m in the middle of something and our kids get home and I keep working.\u201d He tries to reserve 3\u20137pm on weekdays as a solid block of family time (he and his wife are raising a 5-year-old, an 8-year-old and a 10-year-old). After they go to sleep, he\u2019ll go online to answer emails and tie up loose ends from the day. Grant has also been trying to avoid working on weekends, but he\u2019s had less success doing this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Playing online Scrabble<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Grant loves board games; he finds them the perfect combination of bonding time, intellectual stimulation, and friendly competition. Growing up, his family played a lot of Scrabble and he was often the winner. Then, when he was in college, his sister \u2014 who is six-and-a-half years younger than him \u2014 started to play competitively and became a nationally ranked Scrabble player. While Grant was proud, he did not enjoy losing to her. He says, \u201cI was like, I need to beat her, so I downloaded an online Scrabble game to practice and got completely sucked in. I\u2019d finish writing a paper and tell myself, \u2018I\u2019ll just play three games.\u2019 And if I didn\u2019t get the bingo I was looking for in the third game, I\u2019d go for another \u2014 and pretty soon 3 hours have gone by and I\u2019m still playing.\u201d (A bingo in Scrabble is a play that uses all seven of a player\u2019s tiles.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He deleted the app. And downloaded it again. This continued a few more times, but it\u2019s no longer on his phone. Well, there\u2019s one exception. Every year on his sister\u2019s birthday \u2014 \u201cno matter what else is going on in our lives,\u201d he says \u2014 they play online Scrabble. When he was interviewed for this post, it was the morning after their annual tradition (Grant won one game out of nine). He was facing his<\/em>annual tradition: Deciding to delete the app again. He says, \u201cI really love playing, but I also don\u2019t feel like I have the time in the day to play multiple games.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s one thing that Grant has added to his busy life? <\/strong>Listening to podcasts, a fitting activity for this podcast host. He relishes the chance, he says, \u201cto engage with new ideas and stories without having to look at a screen.\u201d He listens at bedtime, while shaving, taking out the garbage, driving, even at the dentist. His favorite shows are \u201cRevisionist History\u201d<\/a> (hosted by author Malcolm Gladwell<\/a>) and NPR\u2019s \u201cInvisibilia.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In Season 2, WorkLife with Adam Grant<\/a> takes you inside the minds of successful people in non-traditional occupations \u2014 including Norwegian Olympic skiers, US Olympic marathon runners, and the Pixar team who created The Incredibles<\/a> \u2014 to discover the secrets to a better work life. Whether it\u2019s learning to love your rivals, harnessing the power of frustration, or finding brand new ways to network, one thing\u2019s for sure: You will never see your job the same way again. Listen to WorkLife<\/a> on Apple Podcasts<\/a> or your favorite podcast platform.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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